


Sharing a Headspace with a Supervillain

by izzybelledot



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akumatized Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Badass Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Chloé Bourgeois Being Chloé Bourgeois, Chloé Bourgeois is a Bitchy Bird, Hurt Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kinda?, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Needs a Break, Sassy Gabriel Agreste, Sassy Marinette Dupain-Cheng, i wrote this before the Lila bullshit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24040993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzybelledot/pseuds/izzybelledot
Summary: Chloe has been upping her efforts to get back at Marinette, and Mari ends up with an Akuma. But what if she decides to refuse the Akuma?Wait why isn't he going away?
Comments: 35
Kudos: 345





	1. Mistakes were made.... not my mistakes, but mistakes nonetheless

**Author's Note:**

> Chloé is a lot more aggressive in this au!!! I wrote this before the Lila Bullshit and gave Marinette enough confidence to not constantly be in pain because I stan character development. Let Marinette be anxious but able to talk dammit

Marinette’s P.O.V.

I raced down the hallway; pigtails in an array, and mud caking my hands from the numerous slips I had encountered. Tikki pounding against my leg as I ran; desperately trying to get my attention. I felt tears burning in my eyes; begging to be set free, but I pushed them back with all my might and did not waiver in my frantic sprinting. 

I may not be able to outrun my mistakes or the words from my past, but I can at least focus on something else. My Ladybug instincts told me to go back and keep going throughout my day; wearing yet another mask. My Marinette side wailed and cried out; unable to take any of it. I struggled against the strong and weak sides of my persona constantly, but today it was even more apparent that I am not Ladybug at all. For Marinette could never be that great or powerful. But Ladybug was all magic, Tikki, and two red hair ribbons. When the mask came off; Marinette was all that remained of my fractured character. 

Memories primed at the edge of my consciousness; leaving me struggling against them. I turned yet again; feeling sweat mixing with the blood on my brow. Unable to resist any longer I collapsed on my aching behind in the safety of an alleyway. 

I reared my head back violently as the memory seized me. 

Flashback

“Marinette!” Alya laughed out; struggling to keep in her barreling joy. “I cannot believe that!”

Struggling as well; Nino lent Alya his shoulder to support herself. “Incredible as it seems; yeah it’s true. Marinette used to attend a ballet school.”

Chuckling as well, Adrien shot me a disbelieving look. “Suuuure. And what did you say they called you?” Adrien forced out; determined to hold in his own laughter. 

I comically hung my head to help combat my embarrassing blush, I mumbled. “Ditzy dancer…”

That sent all three of them back into their uncontrollable laughter. Chuckling as well I mock-pouted at them. “Oh, shut it. See if I ever talk to you guys again.”

We were in the cafeteria, seated at our own little table; feeling free in each other's company. 

I allowed myself to take some pride in Adrien’s carefree smile and laugh. Most of the time his laughter was forced or clipped. Same with his smile; the Adrien smile was my most formidable foe in getting to know him. Even after two years of knowing him; I still was in the like with the kind boy. Except now I could talk to him like a normal human being; I think he appreciates that more than when I would stutter over my every word. 

Suddenly I felt something on my shoulder; pull me back and let me flop undignified onto the floor. Rubbing my skull to alleviate some of the pain I glanced up at my supposed attacker; struggling not to go all ladybug kick-ass on them. 

Above me stood Chloe Bourgeois; my childhood bully, and current bully all the same. I felt a smart remark at the edge of my tongue, but I bit it back and stood back up. Taking back my seat without a word thrown at her. 

This was fairly new. Before I would argue and reason with her; before the truth hit me. Chloe typically would strike a little and then feed off the response. When I began ignoring her she had no choice but to scream at someone who wasn’t even paying attention or to back down. I had been employing this new tactic for a month now, and it seemed to be helping. 

Yet still, she pursued my bottled up emotions like a bloodhound. 

Ignoring her presence I reached for my glass; preparing to jump back onto the topic of embarrassing hobbies. “What’s your problem Marinette?” Chloe whispered softly. 

Feeling shocked at her sudden vulnerability I fought the urge to gasp. I turned towards her slightly; “What's wrong Chloe?” I inquired back. Chloe’s face was downcast, staring at the floor blankly. But with flashes of rage behind them; showing just how weak she was feeling. Feeling the gaze of Alya, Nino, and Adrien lingering on me I gestured toward the hallway questioningly. 

She gave a small nod, and I pretended not to notice the stray tear falling from her eye. Feeling guilt clench me I wondered if I had hurt her at all this past week or so. Now looking back; I wish I had socked her in the face, then and there. 

I led her to the hallway to talk.

As soon as we were around the corner I felt a sharp pain in the edge of my back. Starting to cry out; my face was slammed into the lockers. For a second I thought it was an Akuma; after all, Chloe may be cruel but she has never been really physical with her bullying. But from where my face was being smashed into the cold metal I could see freshly painted white fingernails. “You wanna know what's wrong Dupain-Cheng?” She hissed; slowly bending my arm more and more against me. 

“When I'm talking to you; you best listen, and listen well.” Suddenly she twisted my arm sharply, causing a whimper of pain to slide past my unwilling lips as pain spiked through my shoulder. 

She sharply spun me around; slamming the back of my head into the locker; fingers digging into my face harshly; as she shoved against it repeatedly. “You are so incredibly dumb. You think you ignoring me will do anything? It just shows everyone that you don’t have the brains or bravery to stand up for yourself. You’re making a fool of yourself yet again.” 

With that she drew her hand back to hit me; in a weak and late attempt to stop her I clutched her fist but was surprised when she slammed it forwards anyways; causing my bone to slam into the side of my head. Shocked at her strength I gaped at her a little. 

“S-st-op!” I whimpered out; cursing myself for not having the strength to be more confident. As if sensing my train of thought she slapped me again. 

“You can’t stand up for yourself, or anyone else. People pity you so much they inflate that little ego of yours. What the hell do you know? Who would actually want to be friends with someone as self-righteous and useless as you?” she spat out mercilessly. 

I felt the cold crisp of the metal cooling my hot head. I vaguely glimpsed a trickle of dark moving over my eyebrow. Blood?

I felt so confused; as Ladybug I took on Akumas daily. Always emerging with nothing but some bruises and nicks most times. How could I be so weak against someone like Chloe? I should be owning her!

But feeling her manicured hands cutting sharply into the skin on my neck, and her slim hand connecting again and again with my face I realized how alone and weak I really seemed. When was the last time I won against Chloe in an argument without help? When had Marinette last been picked for the dodgeball team?   
Considering that my supposed Ladybug inner strength only occurred in the magical, indestructible suits. 

Ladybug was practically just my limbs being fueled by magic, and more magic protecting my weak skin. Ladybug was hardly me, she was all Tikki, and her powers. 

Marinette was nothing but a host.   
Marinette couldn’t even stand up for herself. 

And right now; pinned against the locker with blood trickling down my face, and one arm twisted unnaturally behind my back, I had never felt more Marinette. 

And just like that my arm stopped moving to block the onslaught, my head hung there as Chloe slapped it around. And my mind quieted down. Allowing her to continue her onslaught.   
Finally, she stopped; I felt her wrench away. And I crumpled to the floor in a heap, allowing myself to rest; for I could not take anything else.   
I felt so fragile and vulnerable.   
And I felt weak.

Marinette was too weak to walk back to the cafeteria and join everyone else; that kind of strength was one I felt I never possessed. 

So I stood up and sprinted away; allowing my pain and hurt to fuel my adrenaline deprived body. And I ran.

End 

I clutched my hand on the clasp of my purse; letting my kwami know I wasn’t ready to see her. I felt tears brim on my eyes, but I stubbornly refused to let tears slip; knowing that was a weakness that I at least had control over- for now anyway. 

I rested my head against the brick wall behind me; staring at the darkening sky. It had been about 12:50 when I had run first; I remember the bell ringing lightly after a few minutes. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and clicked it on absentmindedly. 3:00… huh. Who knew even two hours of running wasn’t enough to make me catch up to my emotions. If anything; they seemed farther away. 

But I had to rest. 

Realizing I didn’t even know where I was I peeked around the alleyway. Foreign buildings and people littered the sidewalks, looking free, and content with themselves. I choked down the bitterness I felt, but I could do little against my drowning emotions. 

Suddenly I felt cold, jerking my head up I felt the painful emotions briefly subside a little. Leaving me feeling lifeless, but the sadness keeping me grounded.   
Basking in the feeling of peace; I felt myself stand up. Yet I had made no attempt to move. 

“Avenger” A cold voice filled my head; numbing my senses. But I felt a flicker of warmth in my head sputter slightly; hope wavering.   
I felt my back slump against the wall. And the voice, persuasive as ever gripped me again. “I am Hawkmoth. You have been wronged time and time again, and never once seen. But I can give you the power to rise up; and take back the power. To be stronger than before, and be the hero who exposes the bullies! What do you say?”

I opened my mouth slightly before hesitating; there was something I was forgetting. I looked down and saw the clasp of my purse, being taken off. I frantically pulled the string taut and kept it on. The realization hit me like a bucket of cold water.   
He would use me, and control me. 

I would fail, and Hawkmoth would get my miraculous. Chat would be hurt and disappointed. Nothing would go as he promised, and I would be shammed for letting my emotions get the better of me. 

I would lose Ladybug.

Suddenly I felt myself- felt my fingers, felt the wall against my back, the cloth against my arm, the cold wind against my skin. The wind grounded me strangely enough, not whisking me away like a kite but forcing me to focus. I fought back the chill and stood straight. 

“No.”

I felt silence on the other end; shocked silence. And then suddenly the cold numbness left and I felt Hawkmoths true presence in my head without the mind deteriorating persuasive chemicals.

He was cold. But not dangerous per se. He could not control me; I realized. I had not accepted the Akuma's powers; therefore he had no hold over me. 

“What did you just…”  
I feel rage boil in me. He had the audacity to invade my headspace like this? Supervillain or not this is my territory!  
“Excuse me but what the actual hell. I said no, get out of my head!” I exclaimed; stomping my foot on the dirty alleyway gravel.

I felt a sputter of anger stumble from him. “Excuse me? EXCUSE ME!?! You just refused an Akuma! You’ve just trapped me inside of your head! There’s no way for me to akumatize anyone else until you break our freaking connection yourself! Open your little purse and break your sewing needle!” He screamed.

I felt something click in my head. “You can’t akumatize more than one person at once.”  
He paused for a second; realizing his blunder. “Um… I mean; LISTEN HERE, YOUNG LADY! YOU MUST RELEASE ME OR I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU A MOMENTS REST!”

Ignoring him I considered it.   
His presence fading slightly as I shoved it away, and I could not resist the slight smug smirk. 

‘Never give me a moment's rest’

Good threat there, bug boy.  
If I released him; breaking the needle, then he could go and akumatize others; that energy was insanely powerful. If it hadn’t been for my quick realization, I probably would have caved.  
The image of me in a hideous shiny getup, hurting those in the city haunted me for a brief moment.  
I quickly cast it off.  
Plus being his puppet sounded like a horrible experience. 

I took a deep breath; shuddering at the alternative. 

If I didn’t refuse the Akuma; just keep living like this. I would have a spectator to everything that happens in my life; for who knows how long. People would avoid me if they saw the mark. And I would constantly have a switch I could randomly flick to hurt and possibly even kill someone.   
I sunk farther down on the alleyway’s wall. With that kind of power seizable because of any spike of emotions. Could I even handle that kind of temptation; anytime? 

My breath caught in my throat. I wouldn’t have to be Ladybug any more. Another realization shook through me. 

I couldn’t be Ladybug any more. 

All the pain, uncertainty, and danger for everyone else; just gone. And I would deal with an annoying and questionable spectator. My eyes began tearing up as I rested my hand on my earrings. Goodbye Tikki.   
My mindset I rose up. Determined. “You’ve sent out your last butterfly Hawkmoth. You’re not gonna hurt anyone else.” I took his shocked silence with slight pride. “Get comfy.”

And with that, I began walking out of the alleyway. Leaving my purse open on the floor; giving Tikki the chance to run back to Master Fu with the earrings discarded inside. I felt my sewing needle clasped in my hand, its sharp point pressing into my palm with the grip I had on it.


	2. Mind Games

I tapped the pencil against my chin thoughtfully. Math was defiantly infuriating and useless, but it distracted from the second presence I felt lingering in my head. It felt cold and kind of annoying at times. Like dude; stop thinking too hard, I can hear your gears turning in my brain!  
Sighing again in annoyance I considered the problem again.   
Oh. 

I set to work on the problem; feeling slight accomplishment at the sudden realization. 

‘You forgot to combine like terms’ Hawkmoth snapped grumbly.   
“Oh yeah…thanks,” I muttered back. I amended the mistake and sat back a little. “I forgot to ask; will I still feel you when you detransform?” I inquired. I huffed a little as I double-checked the last problem.   
‘You wouldn’t feel me at all if you would just release me… But no.’ He grouched.   
Smiling slightly I marked that under the useful tips and tricks category. 

I paused at the end of my assignment; slightly mad at myself for asking questions about subjects I’m not supposed to be interested in. Feeling curiosity swell and squirm in me I gave up on restraint. I had a brain buddy; I might as well ask some questions.   
“Hey; what does it feel like to control over people. Do you own them; or are they really in control?” I questioned.

A small thoughtful silence passed before Hawkmoth sighed. ‘That's the sad thing. I don’t control them. I magnify certain emotions until they accept the Akuma, give desperate people powers; but it’s still all them. Their emotions are their- sometimes a little stronger but I have no control. The akuma wipes their memory out of kindness for them; but if they were put in similar circumstances without my influences, then they would do much the same things.’ He admitted. I could feel waves of disgust being held back with his power. 

I gasped lightly in surprise; akumatized villains really were responsible for their actions. “Once they…once they agree to your terms; do they have the choice to back out?”

He pondered this for a moment. ‘That has never happened before; then again neither has this.’ He said a little bitterly; causing me to fight the urge to smile. ‘But I suppose they could just sit there; I can inflict some pain on them, but in reality, all I can do is send pricks of pain, or remove their powers.’ He paused a little; clearly debating how much he should tell me. ‘I’m practically defenseless without my Akuma allies.’ He concluded warily. 

I hummed in thought; and packed away the last of my homework.   
‘Also; Avenger, when exactly do you plan on releasing me? I can’t deal with you forever.’ He bitched; former companionship completely abandoned. 

I gave an evil yet fractured grin in the mirror so that he could see me. “Whenever I want; which is to say, I don’t plan on it.” I picked up my toothbrush. “You should just give up, then you wouldn’t have to deal with me.” I felt some resentment brew in me lightly from today’s earlier events.   
Suddenly I felt a bridge of emotions, matching up between us.  
I felt the same slight slight anger boil in him. 

Resentment.

A woman.

‘Wait what?’ He muttered (can you mutter thoughts?), attempting to put some psychic distance between us, but my curiosity was piked.   
I pushed a little farther.

Blond braid over her shoulder, eyes closed. Calmly resting behind clear glass, the flowers laid around her made her appear ethereal- like snow white…

Love

I felt anger spike through our link, red hot. I let out a slightly startled cry at the burning sensation and fell back, landing on my back.   
I felt something close to gasping for breath on his end. Him trying to rein in his cascading emotions; anger, fear, loss, sadness, and disappointment. But with whom, or for whom I could not tell.   
That woman was important to him.  
And she was dead.

‘You should not have intruded into my head.’ He growled at me. Against my better judgment, I steeled myself back.   
“Like you are?”  
‘I can make you feel more pain. This bond goes both ways; I bet your life isn’t as perfect as you make it out to be.’  
And suddenly memories scroll past my eyes, I couldn’t see anything but them. Pain flashed across my body, but I could not tell from where, and I could not move my seemingly non-present limbs. I was weightless.

_Chloe, bullies, akumas, myself, Nino. ___

__They all were there, fighting me, sticking their noses up, dying in front of me.  
Loss, bitterness, abandonment, loneliness._ _

__

__I hadn’t had many friends before Alya and Adrien, only Nino before._ _

__

__I gasped quickly as Hawkmoth withdrew in surprise. Clearly shocked at the bitterness and pain I had bottled up.  
And just as mine had been earlier I felt his curiosity simmer.   
“Don't!”  
It all faded once again. And I was thrown back into a whirlwind, hurricane, drowning in memories, people, feelings, pain._ _

__“You are so dumb!”  
“You don’t have the brains or bravery to stand up for yourself.”  
“You’re making a fool of yourself!”  
“Who would want to be friends with someone as self-righteous and useless as you?”_ _

__I was on my hands and knees; shivering at the depth of my stored emotions._ _

__Middle school is not something to relive._ _

__I’m okay now, I have friends, a life, a dream, ladybug.  
A sharp bite of pain resonated and I was forced to remember I no longer had her. _ _

__

__I clamped it down._ _

__

__I took a deep shuddering breath in. Forcing myself to concentrate on something else; anything else.  
‘She’s a bitch. They are too. No one else should have to suffer as you did. You can change all this. Simply accept the power and-‘_ _

__“No.”_ _

__I attempted to clear my head with a glass of water; feeling it spill down my chest in my frantic state. Gasping for breath I supported myself on the desk. The world was tilting slightly and I realized I was shaking.  
I felt Hawkmoth observing me; judging my emotions and actions accordingly. I felt him shifting through my very being invasively. Suddenly feeling very violated, I glanced down at the waterlogged clothes. “Get out of my head so I can change.”_ _

__I heard a sigh before his presence began retreating. “Noroo; wings fall.” Suddenly it felt like an enormous weight had been lifted from my soul. I felt more clarity than before and the sheer abnormality of the situation descended on me._ _

__I had a freaking super villain sharing my stinking brain.  
I let out a groan and collapsed backward on my chaise. _ _

__

___Fuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkk ____ _

____ _ _

____Sighing I removed my wet shirt and replaced it with another one; pausing to glance at my walls._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Adrien._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____I felt Chloe’s words stinging my ear like acid. No part of me felt clean from her, from her words, from hawkmoth._ _ _ _

____“Who would want to be friends with someone as self-righteous and useless as you?” It rang in my head like an anthem. Drowning out every glimpse of hope and certainty._ _ _ _

____I began walking towards the sole poster of Adrien that was still plastered there._ _ _ _

____ _ _

_____“I can’t deal with you forever.” ____ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______I tore the poster down._ _ _ _ _ _


	3. Another Lost Bug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tiny bit of Tikki angst

_Tikki’s P.O.V. ___

__

__I flew frantically through the city and between the buildings. Crying in despair for Marinette as I carried the earrings back to Master Fu. Of course, she wouldn’t expel the Akuma. This had happened once or twice before, but never to a bug._ _

__

__Never before to one of _my _bugs.___ _

____ _ _

____It had happened to a fox. A fox that had given up their privacy, and miraculous; just to secretly protect the rest of the city. But those days were not as kind to the victims._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____In those days they were murdered._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____As soon as they saw the mark burning on her face; that fateful day. They had slain her, and the evil butterfly reigned on. Poor Plutar, the fox kit who had given up everything. The kit who had been murdered for doing something kinder than she should have. How much she reminded me of my bug now._ _ _ _

____I reminded myself that this was the 21st century. They don’t kill you for the mark here. But they would shun her if they knew; perhaps not intentionally but it would happen. They would leave her alone; and though Marinette is strong, one can only take so much._ _ _ _

____Marinette…_ _ _ _

____I sped up._ _ _ _

____Finally reaching the right corner I stopped to check for incoming traffic briefly. Before speeding across and wiping my tears quickly; feeling them still streaming down my face._ _ _ _

____Phasing through the walls and into his house I collapsed on the miraculous box. I faintly felt a paw on my forehead. Tired, tear-soaked, and emotionally spent. I looked up at Wayzz; standing over me in confusion and at the same time, gentle understanding._ _ _ _

____I met his eyes I whispered to him; “Hawkmoth is gone.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____And then I passed out._ _ _ _


	4. Sunshine Child is Confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some Adrien!

Adrien’s P.O.V. 

Plagg is a fairly simple kwami as far as I can tell. He loves cheese;, especially camembert. He likes naps and naps in the sun, pets are kind of awkward but acceptable. But when Plagg was serious; as I am now learning can actually happen, you best take him seriously. 

“Adrien. We are going to Master Fu’s now.” He demanded as I was taking a break from the photoshoot.   
“What? Why? What's going on?” I asked incredulously. 

He practically pulled my finger into the bag as he closed the box of cheese and bounced impatiently. “No time. We need to go, now.”

“Alright, alright! Give me a minute to prepare my exit.” 

Zipping up the bag I snuck over to the buffet table. When I was sure Nathalie had seen me, I took a bite of a random pastry and chewed it happily. _oh what i wouldn't give to finish this. _I saw Nathalie begin to mark it on her tablet; probably to remove some food from dinner. And then started stage 2 of my plan.__

__“Ugh.” I groaned as I pressed my hand against my stomach, when I heard Nathalie making her way over to check on me I tapped three times on my ring to signal Plagg.  
He secretly pushed his paw against my skin and quietly whispered; “Cataclysm.”  
One thing about Plagg’s cataclysm. It’s generally a lot more powerful, but if he concentrates hard enough he can control it much more accurately. It leaves him too weak to phase or even fly for at least an hour afterward, but it’s doable. _ _

__Plagg’s destruction triggered some white blood cells and sent my body rapidly in to find and destroy mode. I suddenly felt my face grow hot, and my hands got cold. I suppressed a shiver for real this time._ _

__“Adrien you feel hot! Sit down.” Nathalie exclaimed as she moved me to a set chair. After a brief talk with the photographer; and him checking to make sure I was actually sick, I was free to go home… immediately. On the ride home I couldn’t help but hide my triumphant smirk. This was something Plagg and I had been working on for a while now. We had only practiced it twice so far. The first time I ended up with the chickenpox. (“He had it when he was 6! This is literally impossible!” Cried the doctor.) And the second time nothing happened. But this time it had actually worked._ _

__

__Scratch that off the bucket list._ _

__

__I considered Plagg’s behavior; true Plagg had shown emotions before. But it was rare; the last time it had only been when I was prepared to give up my miraculous.(regrettt) Since then we had been a lot closer, but emotional connection wasn’t Plagg’s strong suit._ _

__Gorilla grunted helpfully as the car came to a stop._ _

__Thanking him I hurried to my room in a faux daze. ‘Losing my way’ once, and frequently yawning. Finally when Nathalie had left; and I had told her not to come in as I did not want her getting sick, could I stand up. I gulped down a glass of water and ate one of my emergency cliff bars and I was off!_ _

__Swinging through Paris at high speed with fear in my heart. Whatever could get Plagg this serious was something to worry about.  
And worrying I was.   
Landing in the alleyway I detransformed and made my way to the masseuse’s entrance. I knocked twice.   
Master Fu opened the door and blinked in surprise at my perchance. “Yes, Adrien?”  
I opened my mouth to respond before Plagg poked out of my jacket frantically; yet weakly from out earlier stunt. “Fu! Is she ok? What the hell happened to her?!?”He demanded worriedly. _ _

__Fu raised one hand; “Peace Plagg. Give us a minute to talk, she is in the lounge.” And just like that Plagg attempted to jump off my shoulder, only to fall limply into my open palm.  
“Ouch…”  
Master raised an eyebrow. “You weren’t screwing around with cataclysm again were you Plagg?” I raised up my wrist, where a small temporary paw print of black was inked in. “Stunt to get us here quicker. What's this all about anyway?”_ _

__A small nostalgic smile crossed Fu’s face but quickly disappeared with my last question. “Come, Chat noir. What would you do to save the city from Hawkmoth? Think about just how far would you go.”_ _

__Considering it I realized there was only one line I would not cross. “I would go all the way, but there is one line I would not cross. And that is murder.” Wondering what this was about as Master Fu led me to the kitchen.  
He grabbed a kettle and began filling it. He stopped; setting his hands on the counter. Master Fu never looked that old; always walking upright with a smile. Always one to laugh at my jokes. _ _

__Right now though; Master Fu looked conflicted, worried, and unsure. He had never looked so old.  
Finally, he put the kettle on the stove with a sigh, he turned back to look at me, guilt present in his eyes.   
“Ladybug has been akumatized.”_ _

__Immediately I stood up straight; all calm within me gone just like that. “WhAt?!?! Are you kidding me? I’ve gotta go save her! I can’t just leave her like this!” I exclaimed; throwing caution aside and looking to see if Plagg was okay enough._ _

__“Wait, Cha Noir.” Master Fu said calmly. “It’s not what you think, and I have some much-needed information.”  
Weary of the situation; and feeling restless, I complied. “Remember when Queen Bee was akumatized? This is really bad, I need to be out there.”_ _

__Master Fu raised one hand, the other handing some cheese to Plagg. “She did not accept the Akuma, Chat Noir.”  
I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders, letting go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding. I breathed heavily for a moment before relaxing slightly and smiling nervously. _ _

__Just as soon as it left, fear and worry began eating me up again. “Wait, but you said she is akumatized? What happened, is she ok?”_ _

__He added tea bags to the kettle calmly and gestured for me to sit.  
“After an Akuma deal is refused there are three things that can happen. They could break their akumatized object, accept the Akuma at any time…” He set down two cups on the counter and leaned over in exhaustion. _ _

__Suddenly realizing he may need some help; I reached over and closed the cabinet, placing a hand on his shoulder in support._ _

__Sparing me a grateful smile he sat down. “…Or they could allow the Akuma to coexist in their head. Preventing Hawkmoth from releasing another one, and allowing him to view everything that happens to them while he is transformed. This is the option Ladybug chose.”  
Shocked I sat down next to him; knowing what this might mean. “So her secret identity is compromised?” I asked gravely._ _

__“No. Ladybug was untransformed when it happened. Her civilian form is akumatized, but she refused it and decided to coexist with him. She has saved the entire city.” He summarized._ _

__I let out a burst of shaky laughter. “B-but that's good right? We won.” I imagined Ladybug’s face when I saw her next; beaming and prideful. No longer would people be forced to bear the burden of containing their emotions or risk hurting people. People would be freer, people would finally be happy._ _

__That hope and joy were all shattered with Master Fu’s next sentence. “Not necessarily. It has only been attempted once before, we don’t know if the Akuma could deteriorate over time…” He gestured for me to look inside the gramophone._ _

__When I looked inside my heart nearly stopped. Realization choking the breath out of my lungs._ _

__

__“So she could no longer be Ladybug.” Master Fu finished._ _

__

__Inside the gramophone lay an unconscious Tikki; clutching the earrings to her chest. A small tear left on her cheek._ _

__“How long,” I whispered brokenly as Plagg tumbled down my arm to reach Tikki._ _

__“Pardon?”  
“Before we know. How long before she can take the earrings back.” I asked; already fearing, and all but knowing the worst. If there was ever a time for Ladybug’s luck, this was it. _ _

__

__But she was no longer Ladybug._ _

__

__“Not until you find Hawkmoth, and even then I'm not sure. Which; with him no longer sending out Akumas.” He waved his hand over the tea kettle as it began to stream. “Practically impossible.”_ _

__I took a deep breath and sat down; running my hand through my hair, and different scenarios through my head._ _

__Tears brewed in the corner of my eyes. I couldn’t see Ladybug until Hawkmoth was gone.  
Anger; bitter red hot anger surged through me. Directed towards Hawkmoth for taking her away, or at Ladybug for going along willingly I had no idea. _ _

__

__I barely registered it as Master Fu placed a mug of steaming tea in front of me.  
I just sat there while Plagg comforted Tikki. And Master Fu silently sipped his tea._ _

__

__I shook my head out of the betrayal I felt; this may hurt me, and I would cry over it later, but right now I needed more information._ _

__“Okay. What's our plan? How can we help? And, will she be in pain?”_ _

__Master Fu smiled at me fondly. “That’s why you’re a hero, your ability to be kind enough to look past your own pain and recognize when others feel it. That’s at the heart of every hero.”_ _

__

__He sighed and put down his cup with a defining clink. “We have much to discuss.”_ _


	5. Chapter 5

Marinette’s P.O.V. 

‘How did you manage to defy me anyways?’

Sighing I set down the cloth I’d been customizing- slowly. Not that it mattered anyway, with him in my head I couldn’t get hardly any work done. It was all rushed, sloppy, and uncomfortable. Like I was the one out of my own mind.   
“Does this really matter? You’re not gonna get a chance to do it again anyway,” I muttered, considering the overlay of the stitching on the bodice before me. 

Suddenly a small wave of curiosity flowed over, a common feeling now- but still unwelcome. Suffice to say it’s strange having to explain your thoughts and habits and very self to someone you can’t see.   
‘That will remain to be seen, and I’m curious. You must admit, what is it that's so special about you that you’ve become the first one to resist me?’ Suddenly the trickle of curiosity was decisively blocked off. ‘Besides, you are not as strong as you think- and I am stronger than anyone knows.’

I considered his words; true I don’t know how strong he is, true I’m not as strong without the earrings, true- what’s so special about me anyways?

_Ladybug was the special one. ___

__I clamped down on my doubt, hoping that Hawkmoth hadn’t sensed it enough to pike his interest._ _

__I sighed slightly; trying to put into words what I had experienced. “I felt the coldness, numbness, and I was about to accept,” I admitted embarrassedly. “But, something just… didn’t feel right. I looked down and saw myself moving to take off my purse- only I wasn’t trying to. It was then I realized. So I just ka know, focused on the wind and my tears and felt more me? More in control.”_ _

__I picked up the needle again and began sticking down the seam across from the bodice. Dressmaking was such a long process, and it was hard in itself with my full focus.  
“A dart stitch would work best there, cinch it in more than the Edge stitch,” Hawkmoth remarked thoughtlessly. I froze in my work and studied the cloth, realizing he was right I quickly thanked him and pulled out my seam ripper to redo the waistline. I continued in silence for a moment before mentally poking my guest.  
“How’d ya know that anyways Hawks?”_ _

__‘Can’t I have my hobbies?’ He growled back, slightly defensive._ _

__I raised my hands, picture of innocence. “Just wondering, Hawks- don’t worry.”  
My phone gave out a small chirp and I felt my heart take a dive. _ _

___Chloe. ____ _

____I set her ringtone to a bird chirping- Bitchy Bird was her contact name of course. I tried to ignore it, to ignore Hawkmoth's curiosity. I ignored it even as I heard it again, 2 texts. I felt my concentration waved and bit back a curse when the needle poked my thumb._ _ _ _

____‘Something wrong?’ Hawkmoth asked so helpfully.  
“No,” I snapped under my breath as I set down my sewing. No sense in ruining my work for stupid emotions. “Just need a break,” I grumbled, moving to grab my purse.   
Then I realized it wasn’t there. _ _ _ _

____I left it with Tikki._ _ _ _

____ _ _

_____Tikki. ____ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______I growled, throwing my phone and wallet into the purse I got from my grandma and storming to go downstairs._ _ _ _ _ _

______Hawkmoth let out a thoughtful hum, which I promptly ignored and walked out the back door._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______~__~__~__~__~__~__~__~__~__~__~_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______‘Would you turn off that blasted alarm!?’_ _ _ _ _ _

______Absently I realized it was morning, “Oh, thanks Hawkbitch.” His grumbling presence retreated from my mind as I got ready. It seems that he could hear the alarm, maybe he slept transformed? Or maybe he could hear if something eventful happens? Like the annoying loud ringing of the alarm clock.  
No matter what it was from, I was a little thankful; after all, I did want to actually make it to school on time. _ _ _ _ _ _

______I absently discarded my normal ballerina slippers, having been coated in some mud from my running yesterday. I absently grabbed some combat boots, black flannel, and a fuchsia cold shoulder top._ _ _ _ _ _

_______School ____ _ _ _ _ _

________If someone saw the mark then I was doomed, they would be terrified to interact with me in case I were to get akumatized and attack them. Who wants to be friends with a walking time bomb?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________’Time Bomb is not a half-bad alums name you know.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I chuckled absently, the constant akumatization asks weren’t annoying yet, just strange and humorous. The initial fear was mostly gone, in fact, Hawkmoth seemed like a bit of an awkward dork sometimes. “The fact that that was a serious suggestion is worrying.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________‘I don’t exactly see you as sane,’ he pointed out. Honestly, it was a little tiring to refer to him as Hawkmoth all the time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Says the guy who designed the Bubbler costume, honestly I’m offended. You don’t even understand basic color schemes or silhouettes. And anyway, can I call you something shorter? Your real name would do if you don’t have any other suggestions.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hawkmoth gave a snort at that, absently chattering about letting her design her own Akuma costume. Cuz that was the main problem. I chuckled lightly at his antics while casually grabbing a muffin from the table a heading downstairs. “Bye Papa, Mama, I’ll talk to you after school!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________As echoing wishes of luck and I love you’s echoed out after me, I allowed herself to hold her my high. The offensive sewing needle was threaded between a bracelet and a ring, creating a mini dagger of sorts. If Chloe tried anything, she could just poke her. As long as I remembered to untie it and hide the needle after poking Chloe anyways.  
What were they gonna do? Search the bag of a fashion designer for one needle with an itty bit of blood on it? My hands were calloused thinly from my time holding the needle too tightly, and I have many little pale scars from accidentally stabbing myself with it. At this point, my hands looked like they had inverted freckles on them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________So maybe I am a little overconfident at the moment. I feel that I deserve this much at least._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I squeaked suddenly as I was pulled into Nino's shirt. "Mari! What happened to you??" He pushed her back, hands nervously fluttering from my shoulders to y arms, checking for damage. When he looked at my face he seemed to color red angrily, he was nudged aside by Alya who continued his investigation. And finally, Adrien quickly checked me over. I realized I had left school yesterday with Chloe, and never came back, nor answered my phone. And then I remembered, too late._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Mari, how'd you get those bruises?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
